howtobid

STEP ONE:

Find a item that you cannot live without and would mean more to you than tomorrows'
dinner and click on it.

STEP TWO:

Gaze at this item until you fall into a deep daydream of the day that the item arrives at
your doorstep and you hold it up in praise running around your living room as if you
just won the Stanley Cup.

STEP THREE:

Snap out of it, you're only daydreaming at this point. Revert back to the days you
actually attended school and read all the details as you figure out in your mind how to
come up with enough cash to purchase it.

STEP FOUR:

Print out the page of this delightfully object of your desire so you can have substantial
evidence that this item actually exist to show your friends, spouse or Mom & Dad. You'll
need this to get the money.

STEP FIVE:

After doing some intense whining to come up with the money you need to purchase
this item, go back to your computer and click on the 'Submit Bid' button, NOW!

STEP SIX:

Enter all the required information so you don't miss out on this once in a lifetime
opportunity. I can't help you with this, only you know who you are, so be sure to enter
the info correctly.

STEP SEVEN:

OK, now you can sit back, relax and go back to daydreaming if you like. Cause it may
be a day or so to post your bid. Hey, I didn't say we were quick, why do you think we
call it LAMEbay?

STEP EIGHT:

Once sleepy time is over, go check out some more items on Lamebay or you can return
to Lame Basement.

STEP NINE:

Hope that you bookmarked this site, you'll wanna be able to find us again to check if
you've been out bid by someone from Paducah. If you haven't, you might want to do
this now.

STEP TEN:

If you can't sleep worrying about being out bid, well I can't help you there either. But
continue the steps as described previously to make your new bid.

STEP ELEVEN:

Once the closing date has been reached, and you realize that you could have put
yourself through college and gotten a real job with the money that you spent, and you
are the highest bidder. Uh, someone will email you with the information on how to
contact the seller.

STEP TWELVE:

This is where we bail, and wash our hands of this deal. You have 3 days to contact the
seller, if he's not already knocking on your door. Send him the money in the form
stated on the ad ( usually small unmarked bills will do ) and he'll send you the goods.
He has to do so by law.